I’m getting married in less six months – OMG! As I expected there is so much to think about when it comes to the BIG day – the dress, the guest list, the food, the venue to name but a few. For me though, there’s something even bigger that I had mulled over for some time and that is whether or not I should change my surname.
Tradition states that the woman should take the man’s surname (rightly or wrongly), but times are changing. Some of my friends have kept their maiden name and at one wedding I attended a few years ago saw the groom change his name to match his bride. So, you see there’s a lot to think about.
Some of you reading this may be in the process of planning a wedding and thinking about this debate too. I thought I’d share my main considerations with you and let you know why I arrived at the decision I did.
Let’s start with tradition. I would consider myself fairly traditional. My mother, grandmother, aunt, and sister have all taken their husband’s surnames. Being brought up in the way that I have, taking the man’s surname seems like the natural path to go down. It signifies unity and makes for a simpler life, especially when children come into the picture. On the other hand, it’s the 21st Century where women are more powerful and independent than ever. Back in the day, the wife was essentially ‘owned’ by their husband. So, is changing my name archaic?
The other consideration was identity. Would I lose my identity if I changed my name? You see, I like my surname, a lot. It’s part of who I am. It’s my brand if you like, it’s what my peers know me by. I’ve built up my career with my maiden name so what does it mean if I were to become someone new? My surname is my history, my ancestry and why would I want to dispose of that? Or is this change, a chance to start fresh? So many questions.
After much consideration, I came to a decision about a month ago that I would keep my maiden name for professional purposes (on my CV, LinkedIn etc) and change it everywhere else. Why? Whilst the paperwork will probably suck and it’ll be a little ‘spenny’ to get everything done, I know that changing my name will solidify a new chapter in my life. It’s not a case of shedding my old life and stepping into the new; my old life, my current life, right now, is pretty great!
By changing my name, I feel shows unity as a couple. Nick and I will be going on a new adventure together and I can’t frickin’ wait!
What do you think? Do you agree with me? Have you married and kept your surname? I’d be so interested to hear your opinion.